Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
