So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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