I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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