I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
