Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
