oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You can't just leave with hair like that
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
