I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
