i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
