Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
