Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
