I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
