found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
