It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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