ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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