she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
