I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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