Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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