I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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