so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
