Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
