Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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