he wants to bone in the snuggie
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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