i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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