we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There's even glitter on my cock...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
