Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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