Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
