Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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