I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
