Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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