don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
