she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
