you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
