cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
being pregnant is like rehab
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
