only if we run a train.
done.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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