He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
