you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
