We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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