the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is it penis luge time yet?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
