butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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