One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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