I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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