If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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