Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
