ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
