just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
