There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
