I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
