I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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