I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
