she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
