ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
