And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
