Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
