super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
