I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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