That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
