Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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